The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. If you choose wisely your life will be fulfilling and satisfying, if you make a serious mistake and your marriage breaks, you will cause you and your children, and the next generation to follow, immeasurable pain.
If you want to find someone to love you, someone you also love you must have a plan of action, a plan that involves God since God is Love.- Jer 29:11-13, Psa 119:9-11
The first relationship in which you must achieve success is a love relationship with yourself.. You must first feel you are worthy and lovable.
We tend to respond and react to people based on the past unresolved issues and conflicts. Forgiveness is the key that sets you free. Forgive to the point that you no longer allow what happened in the past torment you.
Even though in some instances marriage has worked well having been entered into by total strangers- by treading carefully, respect for one another, creating an environment of trust and happiness and a trust in God, its also important to slow down the process of relationship building and build a strong friendship before considering marriage. Given a choice I think its better being guided in a track you have never been before than hit it on blindly.
Emotional intelligence is very important in both dating and marriage. Do not blame everything on hormones, stress or fatigue. Be open to learn your partner, also be willing to open yourself as a book so your partner may learn your emotions. Not all situations are the same, not all smiles mean the same thing, also not all words mean the same, and the context varies. The fact that she is quiet doesn’t mean she is moody or has withdrawn; it can be that she is in one of those slow, quiet times.
For everyone’s sake, no guess work. Let the other know what is on your mind. Suspicions grow when you lock yourself up. Remember in a relationship both of you want to reach the other, let their efforts succeed. At least if you open up you won’t see the other as nagging.
Promises have to be kept so be careful the promises you make. Your partner may take one seriously and keep feelings of resentment for ages if the promise is not met.
Family background may be different, but who chose the kind of family they will be born in. some may be from poor homes, some are orphans, some are from royal families, some have very harsh parents for in-laws etc. What matters is the future, where they are headed to. If you share common goals in life, probably a religion, a lifestyle and other important aspects in life you can make it. If we all had a choice of where to be born, am sure you won’t be who you are now. Bear with the situation and see if the partner can socialize into your kind of life or not, but do not disregard glaring facts about their past for instance any children, health conditions, or even criminal records. The fact that your partner also doesn’t love football doesn’t mean she doesn’t know how to make your favorite snack to watch the games.
Seek advice where necessary; remember to protect the privacy of your union by not involving too many people on your personal issues. Who would want to live on an open field and entertain the rest anyway?
There is a time for everything under the sun. A time for dates, a time for sleep, a time for keeping fit, a time for fellowship, a time for introduction to friends and family, a time for romance, a time for time-out, a time for fun, a time for house chores, a time for study, a time for personal interests… Plan your time well and your relation will be rich and satisfying. There will be less friction and conflict over priority and lack of interest from the other party. Be balanced to cover all you have to do!
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Love never fails.